Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love you. Go after that dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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