I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
This toilet bowl is my home.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize