Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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