Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
