How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
