PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
