Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is the high leading the old right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize