i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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