Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize