i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
