I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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