i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
