I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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