Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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