i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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