She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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