So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
