At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
