I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize