one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've changed since you got that strap on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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