What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
