so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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