So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
