nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize