i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize