mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
