Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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