He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
