Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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