i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize