remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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