oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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