He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
