I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize