I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize