Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
