You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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