i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
