Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize