something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
