It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize