How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
