If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
