We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she told me i tasted like america
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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