Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
