break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
