I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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