oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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