I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
