Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
