And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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