I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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