we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
