I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
