i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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