its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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