this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
