Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?

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  (617): have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex? http://tfl.nu/34zp
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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  (732): My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day http://tfl.nu/6zjk
  Replies (15) Good night (5685) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.

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  (509): i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me. http://tfl.nu/hwe3
  Replies (8) Good night (598) Bad night (2723) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

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  (843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro
  Replies (23) Good night (567) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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  (912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq
  Replies (31) Good night (7235) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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  (401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7
  Replies (29) Good night (5999) Bad night (944)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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  (727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy
  Replies (19) Good night (10576) Bad night (1123)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I saved lives by not driving this morning

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  (904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s
  Replies (9) Good night (7839) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

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  (740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl
  Replies (11) Good night (3031) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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  (816): They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives http://tfl.nu/kcvk
  Replies (13) Good night (4552) Bad night (1002)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?

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  (702): Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre? http://tfl.nu/1jmm
  Replies (13) Good night (2553) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  (608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63
  Replies (21) Good night (6789) Bad night (606)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed

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  (618): She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed http://tfl.nu/19hm
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.

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  (913): My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one. http://tfl.nu/ad80
  Replies (9) Good night (961) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.

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  (502): I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this. (502): Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward. http://tfl.nu/u5vx
  Replies (11) Good night (1862) Bad night (284)

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